Kindergarten Crazy

Lesbi-honest! No body likes watching their tiny human start their first day of kindergarten, after kindergarten though, yes please send them to school.

Kindergarten Orientation was a joke, and our first day of Kindergarten experience was just horrifying.

The previous spring we attended a kindergarten orientation. Kids played while the parents sat in a classroom with one of the kindergarten teachers. I wont lie, I am a judger. I was judging this entire time.

As the teacher went over the things they would learn and need to know by the end of kindergarten, my eyes got a little squinty and my skepticism was on high alert. My son attended a private Christian preschool for two years prior to this. So he knows his letters, ABC's, how to spell and write his name, and is learning to read by sounding out words. At the end of preschool I thought great he will be ready for kindergarten. After listening to this woman talk at orientation, I thought great so we are skipping to the second grade! But that's public school I guess.

So this lady went over some things to do during the summer that will prepare our children for the things they will learn in kindergarten. (I was happy to learn my summer would be free of teaching). She pulled out magnet letters and spelt the name Cameron on the board. She then proceeded to go through every single letter pulling it down and repeating the letter again. This was to help our kids learn the letters. This was a great tactic, for a 5 year old, however I am not 5 I caught on after the C. So I began scanning the room at this point, looking at (judging) the others around me. This was a joke right?  Her examples were all like this, I get you are a kindergarten teacher, but seriously lady, I am a big girl now.

Now moving to a week before school starts. I got a letter in the mail introducing the new principal and saying how I would get my sons teacher name and classroom information in the mail in a day or two. I thought perfect, and please don't give him the lady from orientation. She just really bothered me.

Day before school starts, still no mail

First day of school. I call the office, and explain that I did not receive my sons class info in the mail. They secretary asked me what I meant.  . . . how else do you explain that . . . so I said I got a letter telling me it would come in the mail, it did not come in the mail, therefore I do not know where my child needs to go this morning. Now mind you I gave her my name only when I called not my child's, but since it is such a small town school I didn't question her when she told me what class he was in. I should have questioned, she was an idiot, that was my bad.

Off to kindergarten we go with my little man looking all cute as a button! I follow the arrows to said teachers classroom, grab the papers I was supposed to fill out and grab a seat. My son is a bit shy around new people so he was doing his shy shoulder shrug twitch he does and I observed (judged) my surrounds. Guess who the teacher was????? Gah it would be the Cameron spelling lady!

She began talking in short sentences, and then an interpreter repeated, Literally every word. Not that speaking Spanish is bad but my first thought was ok so my son is going to learn Spanish in kindergarten and nothing else, because this took FOREVER! It wouldn't be bad if he did learn Spanish, but I don't speak Spanish and if my son is getting lippy with me in another language, I am going be pissed. My brain immediately went to private school mode, $350 a month is only $150 more a month than I was paying the last two years. I thought their dad doesn't do shit, doesn't pay shit, I'm going after him for child support, my mind was sprinting. While I appreciate these guys accommodating the class, my kids can learn Spanish from Dora on their free time, they need to be learning school stuff at school.

Eventually these little high school girls started handing out packets with our children's names on them. Only mine was not there. So now I am officially annoyed, I was annoyed before, now it was official! So then they finally in between hello and hola get the teacher who says no I don't have him on my class roster. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!! She then let me know the teeny boppers would lead me to where I needed to go. They were idiots too and ZERO help. So I smiled and laughed a this is F***ing ridiculous laugh, and left the room. Seriously this is kindergarten and we cant figure it out, I am a little worried now about even lunch time. Heaven forbid we go outside on recess we will lose half the class.

In the hall I flagged down a person who had some job there, she held a school clipboard so she must have been official. She explained how two teachers have almost the same name. Ekstrom, and Elstrom. And how they have been getting them mixed up. So . . . we are aware this is an issue? maybe I don't know we would have found a means to work on that a bit huh?

Once we were finally directed to the right class, I began feeling better. There was no interpreter repeating every word. He was on the roster, and with the teacher I met on the kinder camp day that I did like. They were immediately learning and finding letters as well. So as we got settled, and it began time for the parents to start departing.

The kids did this little thing, took a drink of water, hugged the parentals, and then said goodbye. Well Mr. Shy was not so shy at this point so he half hugged me and turned to leave. I told him it was ok to be a little sad . . .Ill see you soon . . . Marcus . . . Ill just stand here a little longer . . .k buddy? They guy next to me was laughing at this point (he was a judger). My son did not acknowledge any of the above said things. I just thought he should have been a little more sad that I was leaving him there with complete strangers, that's all. I did stand there a few more minute  . . . I'm a mom . . . I'm allowed a weepy mom card.

First day of Kindergarten. I'm skipping it with the next child.

When Life Kicks You the Hardest

We have all heard the saying that mentions getting kicked while you are down yeah? And how bad things happen in threes?

Well lets talk about life, and it taking the cheap shots!

Breakups are hard on any day, especially if you love the person you know you have to let go, especially if they were supposed to be it, the one, the be all and end all. Just kill me right there, lord knows 2 weeks of no sleep and having lost 7 pounds, life is working on it. Thank you at least to the pharmaceutical company that put out Unisom! At last after 2 weeks a nights sleep free from nightmares and endless tossing and turning.

What fun would it be if life only watched us ache through an already excruciatingly painful breakup? No fun so lets add to it.

Hey one of my best guy friends of 10 years who I see every 6 months when you come to town and visit. We have great conversations about absolutely nothing and you can always put a smile back on my face. You know friend I am going through a rough time right now, I was thinking I might come and visit you, plan some of our usually crazy shenanigans that leave us in horrible situations that are always fun to retell later. Oh what is that? You are seeing someone now? She wouldn't like it if I came there, but you can come here and hang out? How queer, but ok I guess I understand. Oh and now you can barely talk to me, ok. THANKS FRIEND!

Goodbye Boyfriend whom I miss EVERY FREAKING MINUTE. Goodbye best friend whom I needed to help quell the ache, and have as a means of escape from the every memory of a man I cant be with. But no no life please don't stop there, bad things come in 3 remember?

Lastly big number 3! Goodbye Dad. If you didn't cause enough hurt in my life you really timed this one right to finish the job. My biggest thanks next to not letting mom name me Rebecca is for teaching me what it feels like to go completely  numb, to feel absolutely nothing when everything just shattered in my face. That's not sarcasm though. Life at least knows I don't have time to break, that I have 2 tiny people that depend on me, I especially don't have time to re-glue all the pieces back together so numb works for me. I don't blame you dad for being the way you were, drugs and alcohol were to blame for that. I blame you for not being stronger than them though, for letting them allow you to not be a father to your daughter. For not teaching me what to look for, and for not protecting me when I made the wrong choice. Dying on my ex-anniversary really hit the nail on the head for me that week dad. I knew you were going, I just didn't know I would care as much as I did when you went. Sadly your son is turning out just like you. The memorial he planned for you was real classy, and that father was sarcasm. Your son was drunk when I got there, and mind you I was early, and the whole time he didn't even put on a shirt, and I thought I had daddy issues. R.I.P Daddy, I hope you find the peace the drugs wouldn't allow you to find here.

Lets give life an extra thank you for throwing in one last jab after all that above happened. Running into the now ex-boyfriend after the worst memorial service of my life was the cherry on the sundae, the shocked horror on his face at seeing me would have completely shattered me if I wasn't already so completely numb. Should have just added a curb stomp outside the bar and put me out of my misery, again though what fun would that be?

All in all life you beat me up pretty well, but have you met me? I thank you for that 7 pound weight loss, all I really needed was about 5, and now my skinny jeans just look extra great on the back side. Also I appreciate eating absolute crap like chocolate donuts and milk, a Qdoba burrito AND salad in one sitting, as well as the countless candy bars I cant stop craving right now, and still losing weight. I will always come back swinging.